a scale of nonexistent to smokin', we often define just how hot our sex lives are by how often we get it on. But be prepared to readjust your thermometer: According to a new study, more sex might not increase your relationship or sexual satisfaction—in fact, it might even make you unhappy.
Researchers from Carnegie Mellon University split married couples ages 35 to 65 into two distinct groups, giving the first zero instructions on how often to get it on while asking the second to double how often they got down-and-dirty over a three-month trial.
While the second group logged more hours between the sheets, they also reported something shocking: A decrease in their overall happiness and sex drives. In other words, it's quality over quantity, readers.
When sex becomes a chore—or an assignment, monitored by a team of scientists—the fun of the act fades away. There's no sext letting him know you're getting started without him as he makes his way home from work, no slipping into the shower together to steam up the mirrors. It's scheduled, without spontaneity or lightheartedness. It's an item that gets checked off your already crammed to-do list.
Studying the results, even the lead researcher, George Loewenstein, recognized a flaw in his instructions: “Perhaps couples changed the story they told themselves about why they were having sex, from an activity voluntarily engaged in to one that was part of a research study,” he wrote. "If we ran the study again, and could afford to do it, we would try to encourage subjects into initiating more sex in ways that put them in a sexy frame of mind, perhaps with babysitting, hotel rooms, or Egyptian sheets, rather than directing them to do so.”
We agree. Sex that's forced may still feel good in the moment, but the time leading up to it and after it counts too. If we can create an environment in which sex is spontaneous, luxurious, exciting, or loving—a qualityexperience from first flirt or kiss until a postcoital cuddle—we bet no one would complain it compromised their levels of happiness or caused their sex drives to plummet. In fact, we guarantee they couldn't get enough.
What do you think: When it comes to sex, is quality or quantity more important?
For more on relationship struggles, watch Hayley and Sarah's honest conversation here:
0 comments:
Post a Comment